In Which Dave Asks Blaine How To Ask Kurt Out
by yoshi12370
Summary: Dave seeks Blaine out in order to ask Kurt out. Seems simple enough though this is Glee and these things are never simple. Kurtofsky/CRACK!fic/AU


"Hey, Eyebrows"

Blaine looked up from his magazine to find Dave looking down at him. He was looking rather nervous with his cheeks red and slightly sweaty.

"Yes Dave? What do you want?" Blaine asked politely.

"Um…I….uh…wanted to ask you something…important" Dave blurted out.

Blaine put his magazine down and gave Dave his full attention. _Hmm…he's all nervous…maybe…_

"I'm sorry but I don't go that way, Dave….I mean…I'm not interested in you at the moment"

"Dude…what?" Dave gave Blaine a weird look.

"Um…are you asking me out?"

"No! What gave you that idea!"

"Uhhhhh…..never mind…hehe" Blaine awkwardly laughs. "So what do you want from me?…..Hmmm maybe I should sing that next time with the Warblers…"

Dave sighed at the rambling dapper hobbit and said,"I wanted to ask you…how did you…ask Fancy out….you know…when you two were together…?"

"Oh you want to ask Kurt out! Why didn't you say so?"

"Dude…you assum-"

"I'll help you out my fellow Football loving friend!" With that Blaine grabbed Dave's arm and headed toward the area Kurt was at.

"W-w-wait! I'm not ready yet!"

Some time later Dave and Blaine found themselves in front of The Gap at the local mall. To their convenience, Kurt was currently shopping there.

"OK Dave, remember what we planned?" Blaine asked

"Yeah, yeah…"

"Well…go for it!" Blaine cried as he pushed Dave into the store without moving from his spot. "I'll be out here if you need me!"

"Um…why aren't you coming inside, Eyebrows?" Dave asked

"Oh….um…I'm kinda….sorta banned from Gap….for several months…"

"Errr…what the fuck? Wh-"

"It's a long story for another time Dave! You need to focus on asking Kurt out!" Blaine flashed Dave a thumbs up and added, "He's probably in the scarves section!"

Dave just shook his head and went inside the store.

—-

"OK Dave you can do this! It's just a little date to the Lima Bean…no biggie"

Dave reached the scarves section and naturally found the target of his affection there. Kurt was currently looking at three scarves of different designs and colors. He closely looked at one and put it down to look at another the same way.

_He looks so cute…DAVE don't get distracted! I have to go up to him and ask 'Would you like to go to the Lima Bean with me'. I know their coffee is shit, but it's for Fancy!_

Unfortunately Dave found himself freezing up. He was so nervous that he can't get himself to move. Suddenly he was brought back to Earth by a loud tap on the window. He looked and saw Blaine pointing at Kurt, probably meaning don't fuck up. Dave took a deep breath and walk towards Kurt.

"U-um…Hey Fancy"

"David? This was the last place I'd find you at" Kurt said. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh…um…I was..wanted…to shop for scarves!" Dave randomly picked up a scarf and wrapped it around his neck. _I look like a fucking idiot…_

__"Hehehe! Looking good, but I don't think scarves fit you David" Kurt laughed as he removed the scarf from David's neck, causing Dave to freeze up again.

"Uh…Thanks…"

Suddenly again there was a loud tap from the window. Dave looked and saw Blaine with a sign saying '**ASK HIM OUT. NOW.**'

"Hey..Kurt…"

"Yes David?"

"Um…w-would you…uh…gotothelimabeanwithme?" Dave blurted out about too quickly. _FUCK! Calm down David!_

"Err….Repeat that again?" Kurt gave Dave a puzzling look.

Dave took and another deep breath and said, "I said, would you like to-"

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Dave and Kurt looked to the sound loud voice to see that three Gap Security guards were surrounding someone in front of the store.

"Isn't that Blaine?" Kurt asked as he went towards the commotion.

"When we said you're banned from the store that means outside of the store too!"

Blaine gulped in fear as he backed up a bit. He saw both Dave and Kurt coming toward the scene and he mouthed 'Help me'.

Kurt sighed and called out "Oh my god, someone's shoplifting!"

The three guards instantly perked up and looked into the store and with that distraction Blaine took off, probably leaving a sonic boom in his wake.

"I was looking forward to buying _something _today.." Kurt sighed as he exited the store to follow the Warbler.

All Dave could do was mutter several curse words under his breath.


End file.
